In The Name Of Love


This incident happened on 14th June 2010. Since so many events took place on that day,I didn't have time to pen them down to my blog until today.

14th June 2010. Why do horrible things happen on the 14? My heartbreaking break up with him was on the 14th,February 2009. Today,June 14,2010 - The breakup of my family.

Number 14,should I hate you?

What is true love? Up to the 18 years of living in this world,the only real life example of true love I've seen is from my dad to my mum.

Mum,you really managed to shatter dad's heart into millions,millions and some more millions of pieces this time. Dad found a notebook which you were hiding. What you wrote inside aroused dad's suspicion. Hence,dad went to our house in Malaysia to confirm his suspicion.

Condoms,sexy lingerie,a man's clothes. A bed which had been tidied up. All these,found in that house. That house where a once happy family lived. Found in that house where I grew up until I was a teenager,that house where I was once loved by two loving parents who were very much in love.

All of our family photos in that once warm and loving home were gone. Warmth of love from that house was now replaced by an atmosphere of emptiness.

I couldn't believe it. In my eyes,my mum was great. She was a loving mum to me. She always told me to be a good girl,and not go around seducing and flirting with guys. Yes,I really listened to her. I always behaved when I was out of the house.

But mum,what did you do? Your promises,your words. So it was a lie.

SO IT WAS A LIE.

Mum,how could you?

Dad went into a rage. He smashed the furniture,any non-living object he could get his hands on. In all the 20 plus years of your marriage,dad had never hit you. No matter how you slapped him,no matter how you humiliated him,no matter how cold,resentful and unloving you were towards him,not once did he hit you. Never. Not even once. Until today,you got two slaps from him which he gave so reluctantly.

And so so so shockingly,

"So what?"

"Who are you to talk to me?"

"THIS IS COMMON WHAAAT."

Dad roared: "I'll cut off your photo from our wedding album!"

"Yeah,come on,I've been waiting for that for a long time!"

That was what that came out of your mouth.

Where is the guilt? Where is the shame? Where is the love?

Dad reached our Singapore home. He took out his wedding album. His face,expressionless. He started turning the pages. With each turning of the page,warm tears began to trickle down his cheeks. He caressed the picture of you wearing your wedding gown. He was kissing you on your cheeks,the cheeks that he slapped today. You were hugging him. A face of bliss as you relish in his loving embrace. Dad could not contain it any longer. He sobbed. His sorrowful tears poured from his eyes and onto the wedding album. I hugged him tightly and cried with him,together.

Deep in his heart,dad was hurting,he was bleeding profusely. Still sobbing,he asked me:

恩妮，Daddy 是不是很丑？Daddy 是不是不好？为什么Mummy不要我，跑去跟那个男人上床？如果她肯认错，如果她肯回我身边，我什么都愿意。即使她已经跟别的男人上床，我都可以愿谅她，

因为，

我爱她。

He was utterly heartbroken. Mum,what you did was a colossal blow straight to his heart.

No dad,no. You are the greatest dad and the greatest husband I've seen this far. No,you are not crap. You were never crap. Deep in my heart,you have my ultimate respect. I'm so proud to have a dad like you. I really am.

I promise myself,if I never find a guy like my dad in this life,I'll never marry. I rather remain single forever till the day I leave this world. God,if you exist,please listen to me. If you think I'm going to shatter a good guy's heart like my dad's into bits and pieces like what my mum did to my dad,then don't,don't grant me love. I don't deserve such unconditional love which radiated sincerely from such a loving,affectionate and faithful guy's heart. Only if you think I can love that guy with all of my heart,with the whole of my soul,only if you think I can continue loving him as long as he loves me,then,you grant me that true love I deserve.

I've never experienced true love before. But I know the love that radiated from deep within my dad's heart for my mum,is true.

Affairs,breakups,divorces. Yea,discouraging. They make people lose trust in marriage. But no matter what,I strongly believe,true love is out there. I've seen a life example of it. And so,I'll keep on believing,

That true love is true.